9.29.2006
Women with Spiders on their eyes
Today I've got a real humdinger of a question for y'all.
What's with those women who use too much mascara?
I know, I know, the question's been asked before. But still...
I mean, do they look in the mirror when applying?
How do you go past Ordinary Mascarad Lashes
to A Bit Clumpy But Still Acceptable
then through that to:
My God! How Do You Keep Your Eyes Open?
and then on to
Tarantuala Lashes of DEATH?
I mean, don't you think you would stop BEFORE your lashes were thicker than the brush you're applying the paste with? Do they actually think it looks attractive? Enhances their beauty? Do they not realize that people aren't looking deep into their eyes -- but are transfixed by horror at the sight of what appears to be spiders sucking on the eyeball juices of their host?
Or could it be that they're using waterproof mascara and never actually removing it at night. Just getting up in the morning and applying a new coat out of habit. If that's the case do you think their lashes would have rings like trees? Could, if one of those lashes managed to free themselves from their sticky prison, we place it under a microscope and take a cross section and count the years back to when Mascara first touched innocent lash? Could we date things by the change of formulary compostion of rings from Wet'n Wild to Covergirl to Maybelline to L'Oreal?
Please, I don't mean to mock. I seek to understand. Do any of you have any insights to share? Do you, perhaps, apply copious amounts of mascara? Is there a benefit that I'm missing here? Perhaps the thicker and stickier the lashes the better protection against airborn dust and UV waves? Anything?
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The real secret is that there are no lashes left under there. There are only layers upon layers upon layers upon layers upon layers of mascara. If the mascara were to be removed, there would be only lashless lids left.
Well, that's my theory, anyway! Been looking at old photos of Tammy Faye?
nope. There's a court reporter that we work with here that has eyelashes like that. And someone who rides the train with me and often sits by me...
just weird, you know?
Just snorted orange juice. Thanks.
What I really want to address is your avatar. How I thought there had been some weird mistake when I glanced at it just now, as we are wearing the same jeans and are standing in the same dog park. Spooooky. Unless you are just stalking me. Hee.
I'm boggled as well.
I RARELY, if EVER wear make-up, and I cannot WAIT to remove the gack from my face.
So truly, I simply do not understand.