Two years ago, Kristin's oldest friend announced that she was studying with the J-dubs. Actually, she more like ambushed Kristin with the news. Set her up. Had her new J-dub friend (teacher) over so she could talk to Kristin about it, too. The talk did not go well.
This friend, let's call her Wilma, had been depressed and seeking solace for a while. So if this was going to make her happier, Kristin would have been happy for her. But it's been hard. Very hard. And you know what? Wilma's just been getting more and more depressed. But when we try to talk to her about it she just starts quoting the bible and J-dub philosophy at us. A distance has been growing. I've been finding it hard to listen to her trash pagans and false idols and such what with being Wiccan and all. Kristin's been having a hard time with the fact that her oldest friend, the one she bonded with because they were both non-mormons in very mormon neighborhood, has become a fundamentalist. We both wonder at what her husband REALLY thinks of all this. He doesn't talk about it much, but he agreed to the no holidays and birthdays thing because he feels that our culture is too materialistic anyway.
We haven't talked to them since March. But they have some of our baby clothes, and we've got some of theirs, and we'd like our stuff back. Plus we miss the them they used to be. So Kristin called Wilma and we agreed to go out to dinner tonight. Then yesterday we got an invitation to Wilma's baptism as one of the JWs. I guess not terribly surprising. But still. And to invite us. Of all people.
Well, actually, she really only wanted Kristin there. But we found that out later.
So last night Kristin called her because Wilma has a 6 month old who was born premature, and Julia has a cold (actually, today we discovered it's a sinus infection) and we wanted to give them that information so they could choose to cancel dinner if they'd like.
After talking with Wilma, re-scheduling dinner for next week, conversation turned to Wilma's baptism.
This call happened on a cell phone as Kristin was driving home. I was home, making dinner, talking to my mom on the phone when Kristin walked in. She was on her cell phone, very upset, using her "social worker dealing with an impossible client" voice. I thought she was talking to a client. But she was more upset than she normally is when talking to a client.
No. She was talking to Wilma. Wilma was telling her about her new role, and how she has been ordained by God to teach as many people as she can about God's word. About how the Bible was written by God, it couldn't possibly have been written by man. About how everything in the Bible is literally true. Adam and Eve, true. Creationism, true. And the rest of it. All true. All really happened just exactly like that. Science be damned (Wilma is a nurse...) So Kristin did it, she asked her what she believed about homosexuality now. And Wilma started quoting the texts in the bible that say gays should be put to death. The lines about abomination, and rejection, and hatred, and violence.
This is Kristin's oldest friend. This is the second person Kristin introduced me to when we got together. Up until 2 years ago we had thought that we would leave any child(ren) we had to her care if something should happen to us. Saying now that while she may not necessarily believe those things, they WERE written by God and she has a duty to teach them. It wouldn't be her intention to teach hatred and discrimination, but if that was a consequence, then so be it. It is God's work.
Julia and I weren't really invited to the baptism, even though Wilma really wants Kristin to be there. It would mean so much to her if Kristin would come, Julia and I, though, markers of Kristin's sin...
Kristin is not going. We're debating whether or not we will still do dinner next week. We really want our baby clothes back.
The sense of betrayal hit me hard last night and I've only been her friend for 5 years.
I just don't get it. She was our friend. She still claims to be Kristin's friend. She's been in our home, part of our family. How can she believe, how can she teach, this kind of hatred toward us, our family, toward Kristin, her oldest friend, the one who has stood by her through so many changes, so much grief? I just don't understand. I know it's not personal, but still... how could she just start believing those things, and be willing to spread hatred?