It pains me to tell you this

I woke up at about 4:30 AM with an excruciating pain in my lower abdomen. God, I thought I was about to die. I was certain CERTAIN that both my ovaries had simultaneously exploded and were filling up my abdomen with blood. I was positive that I was about to die in a puddle of blood in my own bed -- victim of my (at that moment seemingly) insane desire to birth a child. I had perverted nature (by trying to force my body to ovulate) and now I was going to pay the price!

I decided that if I were about to messily expire (from exploding and coating my immediate surroundings with my life blood and bazillion unfertilized eggs) the most considerate thing to do would be to do so in some other room, some other bed, so that Kristin and Julia (yes, Julia is back in our bed) could continue sleeping uninterrupted. I mean, dead was dead, and beyond help. No need to disturb hard-won and precious sleep with the small matter of my gruesome demise.

As I rolled out of bed, clutching my abdomen and suppressing a shriek of extreme pain, I wondered if I was capable of driving myself to the hospital in this condition, or if I would die mid-drive, causing a terrible accident and killing innocent people. I thought briefly of writing a letter to my soon-to-be-half-orphaned daughter. I thought about creeping back into the bedroom to give my immanent-widow one last kiss. I thought of shaking my fists at the sky and railing at God for the cruelness of fate...

And then I realized that it was just gas. And after a suitable amount to time I went back to the family bed and fell back asleep.

I do think it stretched something out, though, cause I still feel a little achey down there.

Posted by Trista @ 8:41 AM

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Crossing fingers that it's a good ache -- the kind that indicates gorgeously ripe eggs eager to meet with swimmers. Crossing toes, too, and throwing big hands full of rice in your direction.

Posted by Blogger zilla @ 10:05 AM #

oh! this is a good sign. I always got more (extreme!) gassy around ovulation.
sorry that it hurt so badly tho'. Are you a bottler or do you let 'em rip when you need to?

Posted by Blogger Calliope @ 10:35 AM #

it could be OVULATION pain, too!



Where are you in your cycle?

Posted by Blogger Shelli @ 10:43 AM #

You scare the sh*t out of me at the begining.... thank God it was just gas! fiuuuf...

I hope everything gets better :-)

Love ya!

Posted by Blogger Sublime @ 11:25 AM #

Most excellent shaggy dog story! I hope you feel better.

Posted by Anonymous Liza @ 11:33 AM #

Great. You've been listening to me too much. And funny you should think about last moments, because I gave J instructions as to my passwords during a recent bout of post-stim ovulation pain. Just in case I died, of course.

Posted by Blogger Lorem ipsum @ 7:27 PM #

Snort. Just wait until you are pregnant...you won't be able to keep up with all the weird shit that happens to your body.

Posted by Blogger hd @ 3:44 PM #
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