Yesterday I received an email from Lauri. In it she told me that she really liked my "weird" post yesterday. Mostly she liked it because I talked about her and her special abilities, and she's just that vain. But she also liked it because she said that I sounded like myself again. No sadness. No stress. No worry.
And I thought about it. She's right. I haven't talked about her in a long time. Some of my newer readers might not even know who she is. So, for their edification, I would like to direct you all to my long ago, long forgotten, and never completed FAQ project in which I answer the burning question: just who is this Lauri chick and why should I care? I would also like to point out that I would be linking to her blog in this post, except that she never posts on her blog. She tells me that she writes lots of posts, but then just saves them as drafts and never publishes them. I think that's a little weird. And maybe I should have tagged her yesterday, so I'm tagging her right now. Lauri, I think everyone would like to read 6 weird things about you.
She's also right about something else: I haven't been myself for a very long time. I feel like I've been lost and drowning, but I think I'm finding my way back, and I'm coughing the liquid from my lungs and clearing my throat. And I'm remembering all the things that I meant to blog about and then didn't. And so I have composed the following list of Things I Meant to Blog:
1) The pooplicious fondue party
2) The completion of phase 3 of Making Julia a Lesbian
3) Semi good news about my job
4) A story about some friends of ours and some ill-fated German Chocolate cupcakes
5) Mormon Housewife Politics and the Disappointing Aftermath
6) The worst movies in the history of the entire movie industry
Please email or leave comments about which of these stories you'd like to hear first.
Actually, because it's short, I'll give you The Completion of Phase 3 of Making Julia a Lesbian first.
I've talked about my magnificent rack before. Too many times to link, actually. The consequence of this is that I manage to have cleavage even when wearing turtlenecks. I swear it's true. Turns out this is a good thing for Julia's sake. Now that it's winter, it's drafty in our house and we keep Julia bundled up in layers for warmth. But her little hands are always cold especially since she won't wear mittens. No matter, she's found an ingenious way of keeping them warm. Nowadays whenever I pick her up, if she feels her hands could use a warm-up, she shoves them down my cleavage. Not only is it unpleasant to have little blocks of hand-shaped ice invade one's warm bosom, but it's a bit disconcerting when she does this in front of guests (in the case of cold hands at home) and strangers (in the case of cold hands abroad), especially since she's not a nursing baby and I was never a nursing mama. But it's all in a day's work and both Kristin and I can feel good that Phase 3 of Making Julia a Lesbian (Learning How to Cop a Feel) has been completed so successfully.