Why is it that whenever I have a moment or morning of blissfull happiness I cannot hold onto it? Something comes and stomps it to pieces. Is it me or is it fate?
Things that contributed to my happiness yesterday:
- Emails from friends
- A flatteringly quick response back from Spork agreeing (because they like my work so much) to what I thought was an unreasonable request from me regarding the lay-out of my poems
- Finding some time to write creatively
- Having a woman in Great Britain call a piece of my writing "brilliant"
- My Antja CD
- Julia's bumbo seat arriving
Things that contributed to the squashing flat and grinding to dust my happiness yesterday:
- Having our daughter gone for 15 hours -- 2.5 hours longer than we had thought she'd be gone
- My partner's grief at having to go back to work early and thus necessitating Julia's extended foray away from home
- My own grief at not being able to provide for our family alone so that my partner wouldn't have to go back to work early
- Being told that my Grandma was having a fatal heartattack -- no, no, now it's that her lungs are collapsing -- no, no, now it's just that they're filling with fluids for no reason -- no, no, now it's that...
My Grandma was stabilized last night, for which I am beyond thankful. My mood today, however, feels anything but stable. I am working hard, though, to recapture the happiness. Took a walk today and that was lovely. This really is a pretty city.
Sorry to burden y'all with my mood swings. But I couldn't stand to leave the happy post as the one most current and I am very against deletion...