Ok, so I sent out this email (with attachments) to Spork waaaaaaaaaaaaay back in April.
So, a friend of mine happens to be friends with several of your recent contributors. I guess you could say that I'm friends with them too... at least I'm not going to stop you from saying it, although they might stop me from saying it. Anyway, this aforementioned friend (see how I'm not naming names since I noticed on your website that names seem to be a touchy subject with at least one of you) thought that I should send you some of my stuff, particularly the stuff I am convinced I should never send to any respectable, established, award-winning literary journal. So, since I've been to your site and confirmed that you haven't won any awards (though good luck with those dotted i's) and since I rather liked your last issue, I thought I would send you some sections from my epic poem "No Normal Love (A Sci-Fi Lesbian Pirate Bodice-Ripper)". If you've been glutted recently with pieces about pirates and monkeys and partially-virgin lesbian ingenues, or if you just don't care for epic poems, well then, ummm, sorry.
(who does occasionally write about things other than bestiality, incest, and heaving bosoms. Or, at least, she used to.)
Now what would you think if you had gotten something like this? Exactly. So would I.
They claim to be able to get back to people within 3 months and I had heard nothing. Worse, when I went to their site to check out the latest issue, I found a notice that they are not accepting any unsolicited manuscripts for the next year. I figured, hey, it had been a good ride, I had a lot of fun, no hard feelings, and even though they rejected me out of hand I still think their journal is one of the most exciting things in writing coming out of anywhere and I wish them luck and hope they have happy lives while I stay in my room, depressed about my crappy writing.
But then I got an email from them this morning. I almost didn't open it. So glad I did. Bear with me while I reproduce it's brilliance.
Hello there Trista. Trista...
We love the pirates the poems the monkey. We want it. And maybe we want more sections, if you want to give us more sections. Would you give us more sections?
Our next issue's got isself a guest editor, so we're accepting for the one following that. It'll be like next year sometime, not too terribly far away, but future nonetheless.
So welcome, thanks, etc, and send some more pirates!
s p o r k
(I recreated the exact punctuation used, so don't think that I added that exclamation point)
Ok, I know that a million things could go wrong and it's not like I have a contract or anything, but these are poems that I never in a million years thought anyone would want to have anything to do with and I agreed with my friend that if they were going to find a home anywhere outside of being buried deep in my posthumously published "Complete Works" it would be with Spork, so I am so pleased to be right! Do go visit their website, they're doing really great work. (and not just because they like me, but the fact that they like me has got to say something good about them don't you think?)