10.21.2005

cheering up

Got this from Estelle

Take the first letter of your first name..

  • A=I'D LOVE TO LICK
  • B=I ATE
  • C=I DUMPED MY BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND FOR
  • D=I HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH
  • E=I MILKED
  • F=I SAT ON
  • G=I SAW
  • H=I'M IN LOVE WITH
  • I=IN MY ROOM I FOUND
  • J=I PUSHED
  • K=I GOT IN A FIGHT WITH
  • L=I MURDERED
  • M=I RAPED
  • N=I DEEP-FRIED
  • O=IN MY FREEZER, I FOUND
  • P=I MOLESTED
  • Q=I TALKED ON THE PHONE TO
  • R=I CHEATED ON MY LOVER WITH
  • S=I'M MOVING IN WITH
  • T=I JUST KILLED
  • U=I KICKED AND KILLED
  • V=I SKINNED ALIVE
  • W=I GAVE MY NUMBER TO
  • X=I MARINATED
  • Y=I BABYSAT
  • Z=I TRADED MY MOM FOR

Now take the third letter of your last name..

  • A=A HIPPOPOTAMUS
  • B=A CURLY FRY
  • C=A BLOCK OF CHEESE
  • D=AN ERASER
  • E=A GAY HOBO
  • F=YOUR MOM
  • G=AN EMPTY TACOBELL CUP
  • H=A GREASY PAPER PLATE
  • I=A SPORK
  • J=A MELTED ORANGE CRAYON
  • K=GEORGE WASHINGTON
  • L=A PEICE OF CHEWED GUM
  • M=A SEA URCHIN
  • N=A PAIR OF GRANNY PANTIES
  • O=ORANGE JUICE
  • P=YOUR BRA
  • Q=A BIRD
  • R=A STOP SIGN
  • S=A DUSTPAN
  • T=A RANDOM GUY
  • U=A RANDOM GIRL
  • V=A YELLOW PAPERCLIP
  • W=A PAIR OF SNEAKERS
  • X=A TURKEY
  • Y=A NAKED OLD LADY
  • Z=A JELLYBEAN

Oh... I'm mean, mean, mean, mean. I just killed a sea urchin. The bastard. He deserved it. A sea urchin actually attacked me once. We had a salt water tank and we bought an urchin cause it was pretty and the guy at the store warned us that if it poked us it would be a trip to the hospital, and then one day I sticking my hand in the tank tormenting the anemone and the coral and the darned urchin charged at me waving its spines and (I'm sure) looking fire from out of its beady little eyes and it speared me! And I called Kristin at her job and cried out: "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, The Urchin just attacked me." And she was all: "What were you doing with your hand in the tank?" And I was all: "Never mind that right now. How can you think of something like that at a time like this? Now, how do I amputate a hand, cause I'm pretty sure that's the only way I'm going to live." And she told me not to amputate my hand just yet and she called poison control (If you're wondering why I just didn't go to the emergency room, well, its cause I didn't have health insurance) and the people at poison control were all: "She got attacked by what? A sea urchin? Is that some sort of sea animal? Is it like a blowfish? How did she get attacked by a sea animal in a land-locked state? Gosh, I don't know, we'll have to look that one up." And finally, after long moments where I reviewed my will, relived my life, and stared in horror at my reddening hand where the puffy death was creeping slowly toward my heart, they told Kristin to tell me to scrape the tip of the spine out of my hand, clean and ice the wound, and keep the extremity elevated and that I would be fine. The toxin of the species we had was very weak and was more likely to irritate than kill. And as soon as she told me that, the puffy death began to recede and the death by humiliation began.

But Kristin got to come home and tuck me into bed (she worked graveyards at the time).
And I never tried to torment the anemone again. The end.

Posted by Trista @ 8:16 AM

Read or Post a Comment

Wow that's funny. Yet again I am sitting here at my desk trying to pass of my laughter as bronchitis.
I knew you killed the sea urchin. But I didn't know what a great story went along with it.
Fucker deserved to die.

Posted by Blogger Estelle @ 8:35 AM #
 

I raped an eraser. Enough said.

Posted by Anonymous Molly @ 10:52 AM #
 

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Posted by Blogger Jen @ 1:09 PM #
 

I deleted a dumb comment I made when I didn't understand the rules.

Mine is very boring. I pushed a random girl.

Posted by Blogger Jen @ 1:12 PM #
 

Why Jen, I would never have believed it of you. And she in crutches, too. How mean. I think that beats my slaughter of a socio-pathic urchin.

Posted by Blogger Trista @ 1:39 PM #
 

Thank goodness the sea urchins of the Gulf aren't poisonous! They don't even hurt, unless of course you slam your foot down on one. :) By the way, I'd love to lick a stop sign. Wow.

Posted by Blogger Amanda @ 8:46 AM #
 
<< Home

We're Selling Hand Crocheted Baby Hats!

hats for sale

They’re adorable, no? I bet you know a baby that they would look good on. Why don’t you click on the picture and buy one…

Buy These Cool Things

Lexie Lew

Stylish Living, Pets Included

Random Books From My Library

I'm Wishing I Had These in My Hot Little Hands (and if you buy them through this link, even if you aren't buying them for me, I get a little (very little) Something

Base layout by Firdamatic
Graphics by Trista
Powered by Blogger
Valid XHTML and CSS