11.02.2006
Breathe two three... out two three...
Ok.
Dr. Nerdly says...
that yes, the numbers are elevated. And yes. The elevated numbers indicate that I have diminished ovarian reserve.
But. He says that I'm young. That the tests indicated that I ovulated beautifully last month. And that he doesn't want me to get upset or give up hope. He said that the numbers indicated that if we were trying to do IVF that I wouldn't stimulate as easily and they wouldn't be able to harvest as many eggs as they'd like... but we're not doing IVF and he says he has no reason to believe that my eggs are bad, per se. And, really, if we're not doing IVF then we really only need one egg at a time, right?
So, we're watching this cycle. Again, I'll have blood drawn for progesterone tests. He's thinking that I'm probably ovulating around day 11 or 12... and that might be why I'm never catching an LH surge... I'm surging before I start peeing on sticks (except that one month where I started peeing on sticks on day 5... but let's not think about that...) So we'll see. I took the whole day off work so I could cry myself to sleep, but left the appointment feeling more optimistic than I have in a loooooooooooooong time. I'll see him again in about another 2 weeks, and we'll evaluate this cycle and then we'll talk about femara.
So, it's a good thing that I didn't overreact and freak the fuck out on Tuesday...
Oh, you thought that was freaking out? No. That wasn't freaking out. Freaking out would have been following through with my plan to kidnap our donor for a hasty elopement to Vegas to ensure the ability to use his jizz for an IVF cycle using Kristin's eggs. Now THAT would have been freaking out. What you guys got here was just a mild upset...
I'm outta town for the weekend. But before I go... a lovely thing to think about that I got from a poster being given out at the University's Women's Resource Center.
For every girl who is tired of acting weak when she is strong, there is a boy tired of appearing strong when he feels vulnerable. For every boy who is burdened with the constant expectation of knowing everything, there is a girl tired of people not trusting her intelligence. For every girl who is tired of being called over-sensitive, there is a boy who fears to be gentle, to weep. For every boy for whom competition is the only way to prove his masculinity, there is a girl who is called unfeminine when she competes. For every girl who throws out her e-z-bake oven, there is a boy who wishes to find one. For every boy struggling not to let advertising dictate his desires, there is a girl facing the ad industry's attacks on her self-esteem. For every girl who takes a step toward her liberation, there is a boy who finds the way to freedom a little easier.
Adaped from a poem by Nancy R. Smith.
Crimethinc. Gender Subversion kid #69-B.
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I'm glad your appointment brought a little relief.
Also, I loved the adapted poem you posted. I'm glad it mentioned stuff about boys. I feel there's not enough attention paid to how forcing them to be "men" in essence takes their freedom away. It makes me sad to think that this could (will?) happen to my own boys. So thanks.
I'm glad things aren't as bleak as they seemed. I swear, one should seriously NEVER consult Dr. Google about anything. Internet diagnosis will always lead you down the wrong path.
And yay for a beautiful ovulation. Congrats.
Your doctor sounds wonderful - you do only need one egg for a baby and donor insems are a world apart from all the palaver that is IVF. I'm sure TTC is a way of learning to go with the flow and trust your doctor that you have a relationship with, rather than Dr Google who actually doesn't know you exist!
Trista,
First of all, HELLO! It has been way too long since i've been by, and i am thrilled to hear you're trying for another baby.
Also, we're headed to Hawaii in just 3 weeks!
So are you going to inseminate this cycle, or are you going to monitor? I was wondering.
Glad to hear that a real doctor had positive things to say, rather than negative Dr. Google.
Hope is a powerful thing.