10.30.2006

Finally, a full-fledged member of the family

I've been with Kristin going on 6 years now. We bought a house together. She comes to all the family events. Through this whole time my mother and my aunts all insisted that my grandparents (my grandfather and his second wife) couldn't be told the truth about us. I didn't really care -- I'm not that close to them, but I didn't let their presence change my behavior toward Kristin or keep me from talking about my life in front of them. So, for all these years, they considered Kristin and I to be just old maids together, probably bought a house to save on rent, and the poor girl just never seems to have any family of her own to spend Holidays with, etc... annoying, and hurtful, but whatever. Everyone seemed to agree that they just wouldn't be able to handle the truth.

But when we conceived the child that was to be Julia, I gave my mother an ultimatum: tell Grandpa that he has another great-grandchild on the way, or I would. So, she finally told him.

And they've been wonderful about it. I'm used to holding them off at arm's length, so they haven't really had much opportunity to show their acceptance, though. Still, we're all moving forward.

And then, Saturday, Kristin's birthday, a card came in the mail. A birthday card, for her. And it said "Granddaughter" on the front, and had $5 inside. Just like all the other grandkids...

Posted by Trista @ 11:09 AM

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Isn't that great? My great-aunt was the same way, thinking we were just a couple of friends living together, that T was my "roommate". We eventually told her the truth, and even told her about our committment ceremony. She may not understand it, but she still accepts T with open arms, sending cards at birthdays and all.

Posted by Blogger Blondie @ 11:39 AM #
 

wow. what a great birthday present!

Posted by Blogger cocoa @ 11:40 AM #
 

Ya know, it's the little things like that that make the harsh realities of some of the bad stuff a little less....bad.

It happens in our family when we're with my little sister, and she'll get a phone call and say "I can't talk now, I'm with my sisters."

Sometimes, it makes me want to cry.

Posted by Blogger J @ 11:56 AM #
 

That absoluterly just made me tear up. My grandmother never knew about me, either. Everyone else in the family did, but Grandma always asked my mom, "When is Molly going to settle down?" And my mom would reply, "No." That always made me sad... especially now that she's gone. I wish she really had known that part of me... the part that IS settled down and is living a life that I love. It sounds like you have a wonderful family.

Posted by Anonymous Molly @ 12:07 PM #
 

Wow. That's a lovely story. My "in-law outlaws" are conservative 2nd generation Eastern Orhodox Christian Arab-Americans. I love them so dearly. They've come a long way in seven years toward really seeing me as family, despite our many differences. I think popping out a cute Lebanese grandkid helped. Sometimes family can really surprise you when you think they're going to flip out.

Posted by Blogger Blue @ 12:49 PM #
 

May a post a link to you from my blog?

Posted by Blogger Blue @ 12:54 PM #
 

Sure Blue! I'm a bit slow in updating my links... unless I already stuck you in there... hmm... I'll check on that and add you if I haven't already.

Posted by Blogger Trista @ 12:59 PM #
 

Trista, that's so cool!

Posted by Blogger Faith @ 1:07 PM #
 

wow a card AND the 5 bucks! She is in!
Happy belated to Kristin.
xo

Posted by Blogger Calliope @ 1:11 PM #
 

That made me smile. Glad to see that kindness and acceptance exists.

Happy late birthday Kristin.

Posted by Blogger WendyLou @ 7:56 PM #
 

that's awesome, steps forward!!

and also


HAPPY BITHDAY KRISTIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Late but here I am :-P

Posted by Blogger Sublime @ 9:08 PM #
 

These are the absolute best things, ever. I'm fresh out of grandparents, but my parents gave Wes a card for a "son-in-law" a few years back and it made me so happy. And my sister has always been accepting (duh - turned out she was a dyke) but I love to hear her call him "brother." And none of that is as heart-warming as when I hear Wes' mother introduce him to someone as her SON. You wouldn't think that it would still zing me in the heart to hear them accepting him but it does. Congratulations, Kristin, on making it to the card level!

Posted by Anonymous bri @ 6:56 AM #
 

Mazal Tov, that's SO awesome!

Posted by Blogger Shelli @ 11:24 AM #
 

Yep. I remember my first granddaughter card. I also remember almost falling over in shock at a funeral when Pam introduced me as AJ's partner.
AJ doesn't have all these memories from my family, because she was daughter of the year from day one.

Posted by Blogger Estelle @ 9:55 AM #
 

THAT is so awesome. What a huge step for them! Those are the smallest things that mean the absolute most, aren't they?

Posted by Blogger Amanda @ 10:28 AM #
 
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