Was that the whole time she was spilling her heart to me all I wanted to say was...
I MIGHT HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR!!!
Yup, this whole thing happened on the Bad Weekend. When Kristin and I were sniping at each other and I was trying to analyze every twinge in my head and pelvis for signs that explosion was immanent. And then that.
But even as I thought of screaming the sentence above, I also realized how completely selfish and over-reactive that was, and, honestly, that was kind of funny. Especially since I was likening it in my head to Turkey Vulture vomit. So, one of the scenes that kept playing in my head (I have a hard time keeping myself in the present sometimes) while she was talking was this one...
She: So. Um. So that's when I realized--
I: I MIGHT HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR!!!!
She: (startled, big-eyed, covered in reeking bile, wipes some sticky, regurgitated rotten news off her cheek, while more drips from her chin into the puddle on her lap) Um... well... uh... wow...
I: CAW! CAW! CAW! (flying away in a flash of black and white feathers and red-skinned, wrinkly, bald head)
I don't really know what kind of sound a Turkey Vulture makes. But a Caw seems possible, no?
Well, I think it's a pretty funny scenario. It got me through some of the more awkward moments of the conversation, at least.