One half of one hundred things you probably didn't need to know and will wish you hadn't learned

Ok, I have seen this on other blogs, and then Estelle brought it up on her blog and I thought, why not? Of course, also like Estelle, I don’t have time to do this all at once, so I thought I’d split it into two. This is what I got done yesterday and this morning.

  • 1) I am a Pisces.
  • 2) With a Leo rising and a Capricorn moon.
  • 3) If you know the importance of #2 I will love you unconditionally.
  • 4) I don’t have a favorite color. All colors are equally beautiful just some look better in some circumstances and surroundings than others.
  • 5) I DO happen to think that sky blue is a neutral, though.
  • 6) I managed to get a Bachelor of Science without taking 1 SINGLE, SOLITARY math class.
  • 7) It took me 6 months of going into the graduation office every couple of weeks and pointing out to them the loophole I had found that made it possible for me to graduate with a degree that required math without actually taking any math before they managed to override the computer and release my diploma.
  • 8) I still found this to be less effort than actually taking the class.
  • 9) They closed the loophole immediately after I took advantage of it. They hadn’t really realized that it was there.
  • 10) When I was a senior in high school I had a major conflict of personalities with my AP English teacher. Each quarter we had to choose an author off of his canon-list and read 1000 pages by them in order to prepare for the exam. I thought his list was deficient in that it was mostly dead white men, and I refused to read anyone on it. I chose, instead, to read Alex Haley, Ayn Rand (whom I hated, but am glad that I read so I can tell people who think she is great exactly why they are wong), Marge Piercy, Margaret Atwood, Maxine Hong Kingston, Louise Erdrich, Anne Sexton. (you may know that not all of these people even have 1000 pages of material published, well, I thought the whole 1000 pages by a single author thing was ridiculous as well limiting and I told him so). Everyone else did exactly what he said and they all read the same 4 authors so they study together. I thought that was ridiculous, as well, and told them all that they should be reading DIFFERENT authors so they could benefit from additional knowledge and fill in each other’s gaps. Needless to say I wasn’t invited to their study groups. Anyway, 2 weeks before the test my teacher told me that I would be wasting my parent’s money on the test since I had not prepared adequately and would be sure to fail. I took the test anyway (and not a little bit of that resolve was that I wanted to spite him) and I was the only one who passed. And I passed with a 4 out of 5. Everyone else got 2s and 1s. SO WHO WAS RIGHT, HUH? WHO WAS THE UNPREPARED ONE, HUH? BIG OLD LOSER TEACHER, THAT’S WHO. AND AS FOR THE REST OF ALL MY LOSER CLASSMATES, I DIDN’T WANT TO BE IN YOUR STUDYGROUPS ANYWAY, SO THERE!
  • 11) I’m not a bitter person.
  • 30) I think there is so much info about me and my character in #10 & 11 that they should count for 20 items at least.
  • 31) Readers should not think that the way I think about and speak of that particular High School English teacher is indicative of the way I view teachers (even High School English teachers) in general. Normally I am very lovey on teachers.
  • 32) I am the oldest child in my family.
  • 33) I sucked my thumb until I was in my teens.
  • 34) I don’t suck my thumb anymore, but many times I will curl up in bed and put my hand by my mouth as if I were sucking my thumb.
  • 35) When I was 12 I got in trouble for passing out pornography to my Mormon (girl) friends. They were 12, too.
  • 36) I’m not going to tell you where I stole the porn from, but I will say that when I was discovered, that person was made to throw their whole porn collection away and that made that person very mad at me.
  • 37) One of the sweetest pick-up lines that was ever used on me was the Halloween that I dressed as a Salamander (as in the fire elemental and not the amphibian) and when everyone asked what I was and I told them I was a salamander and they said “you don’t look anything like an amphibian, what’s with the burnt toga and the sticks in your hair and the flames painted on your face?” I just got tired of explaining and started telling everyone that I was a fire elemental, and then at the dance that night, this woman was checking me out and she finally came up to talk to me and she asked me what I was dressed as and I told her that I was a fire elemental and she said, “Oh, you mean like a salamander?” and I was hers for the taking.
  • 38) Up until quite recently I used to play dungeons and dragons at least once a month, and I would still play it if I, and the group I used to play with, had the time.
  • 39) My favorite characters are: Quiverinne, a 15th level half-elf Ranger with a penchant for throwing daggers,; and Gefjon, an 8th level berserker Magic-User (I found an obscure rule somewhere that let me do that) trapped in Ravenloft, with a trigger magic-missile finger, a penchant for stealing other magic-user’s spell books, and a real talent for throwing fireballs and lightning bolts. Gefjon is on her way to being corrupted by Ravenloft and may even end up as a Dark Lord one day.
  • 40) If #39 made any sense to you at all I will love you unconditionally.
  • 41) At one point I could play 10 different wind instruments.
  • 42) I went to University of Utah on a music scholarship.
  • 43) I was there as a bassoonist.
  • 44) I had to stop playing the Bassoon because it turns out that my median nerve runs right through a muscle in my forearm. With all the rehearsals and performances associated with being in 3 different musical groups (Wind Symphony, University Symphony, and Chamber Winds), the muscles in my forearm got very pumped up, resulting in the compression of the median nerve and severe carpal-tunnel symptoms. My hands would go numb during performances and I there were times I nearly dropped my instrument. The only way to fix the condition was surgery that had a high chance of resulting in the loss of the fine motor skill that would be necessary to continue to play the instrument. I had no health insurance at the time. And with the poor prognosis, and the fact that I could not afford to pay for the surgery and the extensive physical therapy necessary afterward, I elected not to have the surgery.
  • 45) They let me keep the scholarship.
  • 46) A few years ago Kristin bought me a beautiful French open-hole solid sterling silver flute with a gold lip-plate.
  • 47) I have been trying to teach myself the flute ever since.
  • 48) My flute-lessons are going very slowly.
  • 49) I call myself The Procrastinatrix.
  • 50) I like the fact that the title makes me sound like a Roman Super-Hero.

    More tomorrow, or the day after.

Posted by Trista @ 9:32 AM

Read or Post a Comment

More, More. And I want those missing 20 in the middle too :)

Posted by Blogger Nik @ 5:18 PM #


I went to a math and science high school and managed to graduate without successfully taking Calculus (unlike you, I did not get the special diploma as they were unwavering in the Calc requirement. But I did get an honors diploma all the same.)

And yes, I get 39. (With great admiration that you continued to play long past high school!) How's your die collection?

46 made me cry.

Posted by Blogger Jen @ 8:47 AM #

I adore you. I get 39 too.

And, you would have loved my high school senior year English class. We read a nice mix of traditional canon (some sections of the Bible, Shakespeare) and what I think of as the modern canon (Chinua Achebe, Toni Morrison, Jane Austen, Dylan Thomas...).

I'm still friends with that teacher. She just RSVP'd for our baby shower. :)

Posted by Anonymous Liza @ 10:57 AM #

Jen and Liza:

You know, I take these things very seriously. So now, somewhere in Salt Lake City, a very geeky exhibitionistic poet loves both of you passionately and unreservedly. If either of you ever need anything, just let me know and I will grab my bracers of +2 strength and my +4 throwing daggers and race to help you!

Oh, and Jen, I have quite the lovely collection if dice. What I don't have are any figurines, because that would be taking it way too far...

Posted by Blogger Trista @ 8:39 AM #
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