3.16.2006
crying at work again.
Remember this? Well, it did pass the Senate and is sitting on the Governor's desk. The Governor who, by the way, has as his legislative Assistant an old friend of mine from Jr and Sr. High School. Who married another old friend of mine. Who knows that I am gay and have a non-bio child. Who hasn't written me back when I sent him a letter in response to his surprise letter last Christmas.
But that's neither here nor there.
The governor hasn't signed the bill yet. So I called him up. Asked him not to sign. Not that I got to talk with him directly, but still.
And while I was doing it I felt that I'm-about-to-embarrass-myself-by-sobbing-hysterically-on-the-phone feeling. I know that more than just one of you has felt that feeling.
I managed to croak out my name and my position and the fellow reassured me that he would put me on the Veto List. And then he thanked me for calling and I sniffled an "uh huh" and hung up the phone.
It feels so useless. I feel so helpless. And it hurts more now that I've asked for it. Like if he just didn't know that it would hurt me and people like me, the signing would be ok. Not personal. Not: you are a horrible person and should never have a child and I shall make certain that you don't and know for the rest of your life that you do not deserve that bit of loveliness and wonder that you snuck past us and now have the nerve to call your "daughter". And that she is also not worthy of real consideration. Because she is the child of perverts and because of us must suffer. And I did that to her, by helping to bring her into this world that would willingly rip her parent from her.
So I cried at my desk and hoped that no one would come through my lobby and see. And I cried not only for me, but also for Keri Jones. Because this hits her first. And because she stood there in the capitol with a picture of her and her daughter and asked those legislators not to vote for a bill designed to rip her daughter from her. And they voted for it anyway.
Just as I am certain Governor Huntsman will sign this bill.
Despite all the pain it will cause.
And after I finished crying, I called up Kristin and gave her the number so she could call, too.
And now I'm giving it to you. 801-538-1000. If you live in Utah and you see this please call this number and ask if HP 148 has been signed. And if it hasn't, please add your name to the veto list.
In for a penny, in for a pound.
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I called yesterday.
It's actually possible that he won't sign. The uber-fascist Eagle Forum actually met with the Gov because they were getting nervous about all our veto calls. So maybe it isn't hopeless.
In any case, it's a horrible horrible law that impacts more people than just queers with kids. I'm talking grandparents, step-parents, aunts, uncles, etc. It is unlikely to withstand a judicial challenge. Oh yes. Yet another way the State of Zion wastes our tax dollars defending senseless laws.
I don't blame you for wanting to cry. But don't give up hope yet. It's still possible we will prevail.
ps - sorry for being so ridiculously drunk last night. I'm kinda embarrassed. *blush*
I've had those moments where all of a sudden you realize it feels *personal* -- I remember during the last election, watching the returns come in and seeing how many states were passing anti-gay resolutions and amendments and stuff. It's a horrible feeling, isn't it? And as much as I value straight allies, that feeling of "this is *personal* is something most of them are never going to experience or really understand.
I wish I had words of optimism to share. These are hard times.
Sucks, and I'm sorry my NC call wouldn't make a difference.
I have felt like you do. Every other year, in fact, as we watch the anti-parenting measures creep around committee (our legislature is only in session every other year).
Yes this really sucks. Sum and I actually emailed the govenor last week about this bill. I guess we'll see what happens. When will we know for sure?
I wish I could make the call...
I just called. He has not signed it yet. I had my name put on the veto list. I then called back and had Sydney's name put on the list. I am sure she thought we were a couple, but who knows.