When one has an out-of-town guest, one wants to put their best self forward so that the guest returns with no new
phobias evidence of mental illness untoward stories misunderstandings of one's true character. Even if that guest is a very good friend who has seen you at your silliest and least attractive...
Friday Kristin went to bed and Lauri and I stayed up late to talk. If you can call staying up to 10 PM staying up late. I was sitting in our big leather club chair which backs up against the bedroom wall. Several minutes after Kristin retreated to the bedroom, I hear a buzzing, dare I call it vibrating, sound.
Oh. My. God. Does Kristin realize that her vibrator is so loud that we can hear it out here?
Phew, I guess she does. Lauri doesn't seem to have noticed, thank god that crisis is --
it started again.
Shit! What the hell is she doing? How am I supposed to sit here and carry on a conversation in the presence of audible evidence of masturbation going on right in the next room? I can't believe --
Maybe she just wasn't sure that it was really that loud. Maybe she was trying something else and has realized that it's just not going to work with a guest in the --
it started again.
FUCK! Ok, just smile and keep talking. Lauri hasn't indicated that she can tell what that noise is, maybe she'll participate in pretending that everything is normal and --
it stopped. I (metaphorically) held my breath. After a few moments it seemed clear the incident was over.
Then the phone rang. And as I walked past the bookcase, I could see Kristin's cell phone flashing that a call had been missed.
The phone was set to vibrate.
Kristin was sound asleep the whole time.
I am a complete freak.
But at least Lauri didn't notice, and she was blessedly unaware of the whole episode.
Until I told her about it the next day.