I guess you know where MY mind was...

When one has an out-of-town guest, one wants to put their best self forward so that the guest returns with no new phobias evidence of mental illness untoward stories misunderstandings of one's true character. Even if that guest is a very good friend who has seen you at your silliest and least attractive...

Friday Kristin went to bed and Lauri and I stayed up late to talk. If you can call staying up to 10 PM staying up late. I was sitting in our big leather club chair which backs up against the bedroom wall. Several minutes after Kristin retreated to the bedroom, I hear a buzzing, dare I call it vibrating, sound.

Oh. My. God. Does Kristin realize that her vibrator is so loud that we can hear it out here?
It stopped.

Phew, I guess she does. Lauri doesn't seem to have noticed, thank god that crisis is --
it started again.

Shit! What the hell is she doing? How am I supposed to sit here and carry on a conversation in the presence of audible evidence of masturbation going on right in the next room? I can't believe --
it stopped.

Maybe she just wasn't sure that it was really that loud. Maybe she was trying something else and has realized that it's just not going to work with a guest in the --
it started again.

FUCK! Ok, just smile and keep talking. Lauri hasn't indicated that she can tell what that noise is, maybe she'll participate in pretending that everything is normal and --
it stopped. I (metaphorically) held my breath. After a few moments it seemed clear the incident was over.

Then the phone rang. And as I walked past the bookcase, I could see Kristin's cell phone flashing that a call had been missed.

The phone was set to vibrate.

Kristin was sound asleep the whole time.

I am a complete freak.

But at least Lauri didn't notice, and she was blessedly unaware of the whole episode.

Until I told her about it the next day.

Posted by Trista @ 9:57 AM

Read or Post a Comment

You're lucky that I'm generally oblivious to my surroundings.

By the way, what were we talking about?

Posted by Anonymous lauri @ 10:29 AM #

I have no idea. But it was something very, very important to you, I'm sure.

Posted by Blogger Trista @ 10:35 AM #

That was cracking me up the whole time I was reading it.

Posted by Anonymous cocoa @ 10:46 AM #

That is freaking hilarious. I knew there was no way that Kristin would have been doing that. I wouldn't even do that, and I do that all the time!

Posted by Anonymous Anonymous @ 1:03 PM #

Funny. Funnierstill, the word verification for the comment I posted below:

No joke. I thought it was better posted here.

Posted by Blogger J @ 1:28 PM #

hahaha that was so funny, I can imagine the look on your face trying to hide what you were thinking. Thanx for putting a smile on my face today =)


Posted by Blogger Sublime @ 1:48 PM #

bwah ha ha!
I had a roomate that was into spanking & we could hear her & her "guests" from the carport. She didn't care one bit!

Posted by Blogger Calliope @ 2:50 PM #

That is very funny. I hope that on your anniversary, today, the vibrator stays in the drawer. Or plays with both of you.

Posted by Blogger Lorem ipsum @ 4:32 PM #

bwahahahaha...too, too funny.

::makes mental note to test how loud vibrator is since planning to take it on vacation someday::

Posted by Blogger Sacha @ 6:03 PM #

JAY-SUS, that was funny. Holy crap...now I have to pee, I've laughed so much!

Posted by Blogger hd @ 6:59 PM #

Thanks for the hearty laugh on a day when I needed it. Poor Kristin, you thinking naughty thing of her when she was just sleeping.

Posted by Blogger WendyLou @ 12:01 PM #

i am laughing doubly hard now that i read "j"s word verification!

Posted by Blogger Amanda @ 2:55 PM #

cracking up...and love the word verification too! Thanks for the great laugh today.

Posted by Blogger M. @ 9:34 AM #
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