She understands. She doesn't comprehend.

I posted on this a few months ago when there was an anonymous hater bothering Kiker. But this new example is just so... horrific. I'm not linking to it, because a) I don't want to draw more attention to it b)I'm hoping the blogger under attack just deletes the comments and c)most of you probably know what I'm talking about anyway. But two beautiful bloggers in the midst of amazing joy drew a vicious homophobic attack. One that went beyond just attacking their sexual orientation and their family choices, but attacked their looks, their judgement, and their child. Long, hateful, mocking, venomous comments. On a post that was all about love and joy and miracles. I just still don't comprehend the sense of entitlement and self-righteousness and hatred that would move someone to attack so unreservedly and then when rounded upon by the bloggers' well-wishers and friends would renew the attack with even more rancor and poison and justify her actions (she finally identified as female) as saying if the bloggers' didn't want to be attacked this way they shouldn't put their lives on the internet for all to see.

I run across plenty of blogs that I don't agree with. I even have some bloggers that I know and personally dislike. But I would never leave comments like that.

When I wrote Of Babies and Baseball Bats I wondered if I was being a little melodramatic, a little histrionic. No. No, if anything I was being too limited in my scope when I qualified it as what it's like to be a lesbian mother in Utah.

I wish I could delete those comments from that person's blog. I wish they hadn't had to read them. I hope that they are better armored than I when it comes to things like that.

And to my own anonymous hater, if you're still hanging around... you don't know what bigotry is if you think that anything I've written on this site is bigoted. You don't even know.

Bonus points to anyone who can tell me where I stole my title from.

Posted by Trista @ 8:44 AM

Read or Post a Comment

I hate when people do that, and if you are going to do that don't be a coward and sign with your name!!
really such people, I left a non comment on your post of the ebay guy, please read it.

Take care and just forget about those idiots spreading hate, they aren't worth the waste of time!


Posted by Blogger Sublime @ 10:07 AM #

I wonder why people just stay the hell away from blogs that they disagree with? I can't imagine reading blogs that make me mad, you know.

Their follow up post indicates that they are taking it in stride.

Posted by Anonymous cocoa @ 10:50 AM #

Aside from all of the spot-on comments that people made (with which I totally agree), the thing that stands out most to me is how she made that back-handed comment of I'm not surprised that all of the homos are rallying to defend this mockery of a family, blah-blah-blah. Well, DUH. I mean, does anyone who posits such an "argument" just assume that we'll stop, shake our heads, and say, "Wow, you're right! Why didn't we ever notice that we have some sort of stunted emotional/sexual development and really, we should just stop making families - oops, wait, I mean 'families'"? I mean, sure, go ahead, make your (lame-ass, bigoted "point") [though I can't imagine what she thought she would gain by doing so], but do it knowing that you're the intruder and that people will inevitably rally against you. Really, duh.

Posted by Blogger Brooke @ 11:25 AM #

EXACTLY! Like she is the child who sees the truth behind the emperor's clothes and all she has to do is point it out and all will love her. It's the same old fucking game of victim -- she is the victim of our "plots" our "ploys". We "force her" to spend her money on expensive schools to keep her children "safe". We attack HER when all she is doing is simply stating it how it is. When it is we who are being attacked, it is we who are being wounded, we who are being told to live in shame and fear and adjustments.

Today I feel that everything I have ever written on homophobia was not nearly strong enough.

Posted by Blogger Trista @ 11:38 AM #

I responded to this - and the comment on Emilins blog on my blog today. Sad state, if you ask me.

Oh yeah.

Posted by Blogger J @ 1:27 PM #

J, you get brownie points.

For the rest of you, Summer Glau on Firefly said the lines of my title in reference to herself when everyone on the ship was upset at her for carrying around a loaded gun. She thought it was a stick.

Posted by Blogger Trista @ 1:51 PM #

Thank you, Trista.
I've been feeling kind of emotional myself lately (especially around the incident you're referring to) and wondering if I was being histrionic and not rational. I mean, I will calm down, as I always do, but...thanks.

Posted by Blogger Lo @ 6:57 PM #

Amen, Sistah!!

Posted by Blogger hd @ 7:02 PM #

Right on, lady. Having just been finishing up a book on lesbian parenting, and checking back obsessively to see how the emilin/brooke family was doing, the nasties caught me a bit off-guard and were hard to move on from. The homophobia seems to be going around, and I hope no one else has to deal with that ridiculousness. You're right about your (original) post- I'm not a parent, yet, but it spoke to my fears and I'm sure they're exponentially larger for you as a parent already. You have such a big job, protecting your daughter from such vitriol. I wasn't able to see the crappy comment on yours, if there was one that inspired the question about the title, but two people coming up with the same idea/words independently are both original. So, good job! And please keep posting thoughts about such things, as I find it invaluable while J and I work toward becoming moms (and I'm sure we're not the only ones.) Thanks! -Kate-

Posted by Blogger starevelina @ 6:05 PM #

This new Anonymous was such a piece of work, going out of her way to find places to spew her hatred. What a true sicko. I wasn't really taken off guard since I read about it here first (from Trista, my news source), but still, it was so evil and gave me chills.

Posted by Blogger M. @ 10:40 PM #
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