You'd think that after having all our shit piled in unseemly humps around our dining room, and shoved in dark corners of random cupboards for 2 months, and after 2.5 YEARS of having less than satisfactory storage where there was an 83.72% chance of opening a cabinet and having something fall on you cracking your skull and causing either permanent brain damage (34.9%) or just really severe headache, putting our dishes away (new dishes! bought at an obscene deal over 2 months ago!) in our new (spacious, dreamy) cabinets would be accomplished post haste and bring with it unparalleled pleasure.
(now how's THAT for an opening sentence?)
Instead we have put away approximately 2 plates 1 mug and 1 bowl. And the cold cereals. Because everyone knows that all cold cereals get stored in the cabinet above the fridge. But other than that... nothing. I just stare into the cavernous depths and hear the echo of my breathing and am PARALYZED by the emptiness.
Let's see... where should the mixing bowls go? Here? or... maybe over the sink?... or how about here over the stove?... or WHAT IF I PUT THEM IN THE WRONG SPOT AND THEY STAY THERE FOREVER FROM THE FORCE OF HABIT BUT REALLY ITS THE WRONG SPOT AND OUR LIVES ARE UTTERLY AND FOREVER RUINED AND WE MAY AS WELL NOT HAVE SPENT THE TIME AND MONEY MAKING OUR KITCHEN BETTER BECAUSE NOW I'VE GONE AND DONE IT!
And I haven't even TRIED to figure out where to put the measuring cups, or the cheese grater, or the George Forman Lean Mean Grilling Machine or the industrial sized bottle of olive oil. And, if you want to know the truth, the mug and bowl are on probation in their current spots -- trying them on as it were -- and the plates only got put away because we bought a plate rack. I mean, WHERE ELSE ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO GO? It would be silly to make a fuss over getting a plate rack to display our new super-dealio plates only to put them somewhere else. Though that rack might make a great filing system for our bills...
And then there's this huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge expanse of countertop. And I want to put our canisters on there. The canisters holding pasta and beans and other staple-type things. Because we invested in these canisters when we had the open shelving before and now it just seems that the countertop's the best place for them. But Kristin believes that a big open expanse of countertop should remain pristine. Like a stretch of cryptobiotic soil. Or that field where the Indian cried in that old commercial. She thinks my beautiful canisters are equivalent to the dreaded "clutter". I say -- "hey, it's a countertop, they're canisters. You EXPECT to see canisters on countertops. Where are we supposed to put them, in a CABINET? Ok, fine. You think they should go in a cabinet? Then YOU figure out which one." And then we sit and stare at the cabinets again -- sucked in by their deep gravity wells while I mutter that if we could put them on the countertop they'd already be put away. And isn't that the maxim for our kitchen? Efficiency?
At this rate it'll take us longer to move into the new kitchen as it's taking us to build it.
And I just re-read this and I realize that I have a huge assumption here. What if EVERYONE doesn't know that all cold cereals are stored in the cabinet above the fridge? What if we're only storing them there out of habit and it'd be more efficient to store them elsewhere? CRAP. Now I've only got 2 plates maybe put away. Thanks a lot, a lotta help you are. Sheesh.