10.11.2006
Bad Dreams
I had a dream last night. Weird, since two of my favorite bloggers just blogged about dreams. Last night I went to bed upset, every neuron bathed in an intoxicating mix of stong emotions, like strong spirits, like a big nasty mix of tequila and rum and Pabst Blue Ribbon, and I dreamed.
I dreamed that I was pregnant. Wait. I dreamed that I was pregnant and happy and then... I started cramping. And bleeding. And I went to the hospital and I was miscarrying. I was laboring to clear my body of my dead baby and I was all alone. Crises were occurring all around me in the hospital -- everyone had other people in more immediate mortal danger to attend to, and all I could catch were flashes of people's clothing as they hurried past my doorway -- mine was a relatively tiny little problem. And in my dream I kept telling myself the stories of the women I've read on-line, come to care about, who have had their own tragedies. And I kept telling myself that they lived through this, that they've had worse than this, that I need to just buck up and get through, but everything was covered in so much blood, and everything hurt so much, and I was so alone.
So now I have an emotional hang-over. I am headachy and nauseated and there are little sparkles of fear running through my brain. Some of my dreams have been spectacularly prophetic while others are just piercingly symbolic of some deeper truth I'm not acknowledging. And then, of course, there are the dreams that are nothing but neurons pickling in a bath of emotion. The problem is figuring out which category a dream (this dream) belongs in...
Read or Post a Comment
We'll go with the "it was just a fluke" type of dream, ok? Nothing prophetic. Just picking up on other's sorrows.
"emotional hang-over"
seriously- that needs to be the name of a book.
just saying...
I (putting fancy dream interpret hat on) think your dreaming this is a sign of just how invested and close you are to friends that have gone/are going through this. You put yourself in their shoes & felt that specific type of pain in your dream. Maybe even you were trying to absorb some of the pain so that they could have less of it?
I think, if anything, it shows what a generous and caring person you are.
You were acting out I think something that so many of us wish we could when we say, "I wish I could help you."
xo