Two Snippets of conversation in Butt-fuck Nowhere Utah

Snippet #1 You People All Look Alike To Me
Setting: Wal-m*rt where we were forced to go for swim-diapers. It was the only store open on a Sunday. Because, you know, if you're not in church, then you should be, and so only soulless corporations like Wal-m*rt will take your dirty money.
Players: One Overly Talkative Checker, Two Mothers Embarrassed To Be Seen In Such A Store, and The Cutest Baby in UtahTM.

OTC: Oh, wow, you're the one with the baby in the picture!
METBSISAS#1: Excuse me?
OTC: Your baby is the baby in the picture?
METBSISAS#1: What picture?
OTC: The picture at the front of the store!
METBSISAS#1: There's a picture of my baby at the front of the store?
OTC: Right there by the photo studio, there's a couple picture of your baby.
Mother Embarrassed To Be Seen In Such A Store #1 looks where the Overly Talkative Checker is pointing. There is, indeed, several pictures of babies. Two of those babies happen to be black. Neither of those babies are The Cutest Baby in UtahTM (of course they aren't, like we would let Wal-m*rt take pictures of our baby).
METBSISAS#1: Those aren't pictures of my baby. Those are two other, different, babies.
OTC: Are you sure?

Snippet #2: Bathroom Humor
Setting: JB's Restaurant around 10:30 AM
Players: Hard-bitten Waitress (I would use a more PC term, but this woman has definitely been a diner waitress since the invention of the term back in 207 A.D.), Older woman looking for some breakfast, One horrified traveller who really, really needs to use the bathroom before hitting the road.

Woman: (coming out of the bathroom) Phew!
Waitress: I know, it's bad in there. Didn't you just about die in there?
Woman: Oh, man, yeah. I didn't think I was going to make it out.
Waitress: I know, I was in there not too long ago and I nearly passed out.
Woman: Well, I'm glad I don't have to go back in there again.
Waitress: Do you know what you want for breakfast, hon?
Woman: I just need a minute to recover. That bathroom was a little hard to bear.
Waitress: That's it. I don't care if the manager is cold. That bathroom is just too hot. We're going to have customers dropping like flies if he doesn't let me turn the heat down...

Posted by Trista @ 10:08 AM

Read or Post a Comment

OTC: Are you sure?

responsible of the w*lm*rt clerk to verify whether or not you had indeed (or not) had pics taken there. *sigh* and wtf about the assumptions made??? i wonder if this experience made any dent in her maybe-i-shouldn't-be-so-stupid quotient.

Posted by Blogger megan @ 12:15 PM #

how on EARTH could somebody mistake some random baby for the CUTEST baby in Utah???
That chick needs to go get herself some W*lmart glasses.

word verification: fatal

Posted by Blogger Calliope @ 8:03 AM #
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