5.17.2006
Sucks to be my left leg right now.
Ok, a work story.
This morning I put a skirt on for work. A flirty, brown, mens-wear skirt with an assymetrical hem. And my cute shoes. But no nylons or tights. I hate nylons and tights. I only like thigh-highs. LOVE thigh-highs. But not the ones with the rubber at the top. No, only real ones with garters.
Anyway, I was bare-legged. And I went to get the Fed-ex delivery. And there was a big box. Not a heavy box, just big. So I went to carry it to the desk of the secretary of the guy whom it was for. And I was carrying the box in my arms and I couldn't see my feet. Or the floor in front of me. On anything stacked on the floor in front of me. And when I walked (briskly! because I have other things to do that carry boxes everywhere!*) around his desk suddenly there was an impediment to my forward motion there. I tripped, people. HARD. And I went sprawling, dropping my box, scattering the huge stack of files that I had tripped over, twisting my hip to keep my chin from hitting the inconsiderately-stacking-files-on-the-floor-person's desk, and my left knee made contact with the floor first, hard, and then skidded on the industrial carpet. And then the rest of me hit the carpet. And I couldn't help myself, but I went "owie, owie, owie" just like a four year old, and I picked myself up and started limping around trying to pick all the files up. And you wanna know something? Even though I made a considerable amount of noise what with all the files scattering and the boxes falling and my crying like a child, NO ONE moved the five feet to see what had caused all the noise and crying, and so NO ONE even asked me if I was ok.
So, then, I pick everything up and I look at my knee, and there's no skin on it, and it's swelling and purple, and blood is starting to ooze. So I start hobbling to the first aid kit, and I'm holding my skirt away from my knee to keep blood from getting on it and because the brushing of the fabric on my knee was exquisitely painful. And I get to the first aid kit and grab bandaids and anti-biotic ointment and betadine solution and start walking back to my desk, when this person who is kinda my supervisor but mostly not sees me and says:
Hey, can you come help us move all these boxes to the basement?
And because I was in a kind of shock, I helped them, putting my first-aid stuff on my desk and hobbling with an armfull of boxes (still holding my skirt above my damaged knee) down to the basement and back.
My knee really, really hurts. It's deeply bruised and crusty.
THEN, when I was home, and limpily carrying Julia to her nursery to change a poopie diaper, I hit my toe on one of the exposed nail-studded boards in our home where there was a wall. The same exposed, nail-studded board that Kristin cut her foot on a week ago and that we're sure has now given her tetanus. Yup. Same damn board. Probably same damn nail. Now there's a big chunk of my left big toe missing and I probably have tetanus. I can't bend my left knee, my left hip is throbbing, and now it hurts to step on my left foot.
But none of that matters, because I'm going on vacation, damn it! And all that left leg needs to do is operate the clutch. And if I have to, I'll get a stick to do that for me.
*not really
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Oh my God! I hope that doesn't get in the way of enjoying your well deserved vacation sweetie !