Yeah, I know it's Wednesday. And I know that you're all hanging on the edge of your seats waiting for the blog love. But that'll just have to wait. Because I have something much bigger to tell you.
I am such a bad ass. I didn't even know. Did you know? Do you know how I know?
It turns out I have a tattoo. That's right, you heard me. I have a tattoo that I didn't even know I had. That's how badass I am. It's kinda like I got drunk and woke up with a tattoo. Or something. I couldn't get a good picture of it for you, so you are being gifted with an amazing Artist's Rendition of my tattoo. It is, of course, suitable for framing when printed on a high quality printer. You can thank me later.
That's right. Yeah baby. I have a tattoo on my gums. I have a dark gray dot next to the tooth that I just had a crown put on. See, I've been spending all my spare time lately looking intently at my gums. That's why I haven't been blogging or returning emails or taking phone calls. (Sacha, I AM going to get a hold of you, I promise!) I've been too busy staring into the dark recesses of my mouth. And in there I discovered my badassness. There was a grey spot. A. Gray. Spot. On my gums. I was certain that it was leprosy come to haunt me. So, yesterday, when I went in to the dentist, I pointed it out, certain that he would tell me that my mouth was rotting and all my teeth were immanently about to fall out.
He poked it. He prodded it. He peered. And then he told me it was an amalgam tattoo. Amalgam tattoos are formed when you have a small cut in your gums when they put in amalgam fillings. The amalgam can work under your gums and form a permanent tattoo.
How cool is that??? I wonder if I have more. I have a LOT of fillings.
Oh, and you know what else the dentist did to me? I explained about how I have a phobia of pulling my teeth out with dental floss. He thought that was funny. Then he puts the crown on me and gets it on real good. And then he runs dental floss between the crown and the neighboring teeth. And when he goes to pull the floss out the crown came off too and nearly choked me! Dental floss. Pulling tooth. Out. Oh my god I about lost it right there. Yeah, I'm a real badass all right.
Thank god I don't have to go back for 6 months.
And finally, on to other things.
Anyone interested in the Short Story Saturday? It's a bit weird for me since I don't blog on Saturday, but I'm up for the idea. What do you think? Would you like weekly themes, or just a free for all? Wanna start next week?