This whole Time-warp Tuesday thing is not working out as expected. It's HARD to find and scan an old picture for every Tuesday. Really, I should just find a WHOLE BUNCH and scan them all at once and THEN dole them out like sips from the Fountain of Youth. Or just give up. Or just keep on intermittently as I am. I'll bet you didn't even know I had instituted Time-warp Tuesday, had you? Because that is how reliable I am.
Spin Doc tagged me last week. So here goes:
1. Who was your first Prom date? I never went to the prom. Not once. No one asked me. Seriously. It's true. It's not because they wouldn't let me and my girlfriend go and so I boycotted as a way of protesting the heterosexism of high school. No. I had no girlfriend. I didn't know I would like a girlfriend. Have you seen Napoleon Dynamite? In my high school life my very own Napoleon Dynamite in his very own lurpy way kept trying to ask me out but I didn't have a mom like Tricia's mom and so I never had to acknowlege his efforts. Unlike Tricia, though, I didn't have other beaus waiting in the wings. So. No prom. No Jr. Prom. No Sadie Hawkins (why put yourself out there and ask some guy who never bothered to ask you to a dance in turn?) no Homecoming. Aw hell. I was the girl that guys would ask advice on how to ask my friends out from... Shit, even though I'm a big old dyke now I'm all depressed about my undateable undancable ness. Great. Thanks Spin Doc!
2. Who was your first roommate(s)? My first roommate was a woman named Rain. I was 23 and running from the failure of my first romance. She had moved to Oregon the previous summer and she and her partner offered me a place to land. The spent several months courting me -- telling me how great Oregon was, how wonderful the job market was (what can I say, I was gullible), what a wonderful life we'd all have together. So I moved. With $500 to my name and no job experience other than as a preschool teacher. And within of week of my arrival Rain kicked her partner out of the house. Apparantly she had been waiting for me to come and rent-payingness to the household before breaking up with her partner. Nice. Still, I didn't want to admit defeat and move back in with my parents, so I stuck it out for 6 months before the Goddess told me to move back home, immediately. On the drive home (my brother flew out to accompany me) I fell very ill with Mono (thank Goddess he was there -- he had only come on a whim) and he ended up driving me back. I hope this doesn't sound too dramatic, but if I hadn't been home when the disease got bad, I may well have died. I had no health insurance and no money for doctors. We had no phone in the house. I doubt my roommate would have called my parents to tell them how sick I was, and I doubt she would have noticed when my tonsils swelled up and started closing my throat off. Still, I'm glad I went. I still LOVE Oregon (just not that particular city) and I learned a lot about myself and what I'm capable of accomplishing on my own. And I learned how much I love my family. Yay for painful growth!
3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink the first time you got drunk? I had been drinking for a long time before I got drunk. The first alcoholic drink I ever had was a sip of my dad's beer when I was 5. I hated it. When I was 8 my mom let me try her frozen Margarita. LOVED IT. Tequila is my hard liquor of choice. And when I decided that it was high time I got a drunk on, I made Margaritas and drank tequila straight from the bottle while I was running the blender. I got pretty happy drunk (which is impressive since I wasn't happy at the time, this is during the romantic relationship the end of which sent me running to Oregon see #2) but didn't get hungover. I don't think I've ever been hung over. At least not in the sick, vomity, headachy way. Sometimes I drag a little the next day after drinking too much, but that's about it.
4. What was your first job? I was a nanny-like creature. I was only 13-14 but every day after school I went to this woman's house, picked up her baby from the neighbor, unlocked the house and waited for her kids to come home from school. I watched them until all afternoon until the parents came home. I also watched them Saturday mornings. I liked the responsibility. I thought the little kids were cool. And I liked that they had MTV. I didn't like it that she kicked her husband out, got a divorce, and then skipped town one Sunday owing me a month's worth of wages. She sucked.
5. What was your first car? A 1978 shit-brown, solid steel, Chevy Monza. It was practically a two seater, and was SO FUCKING FAST! It was a practice car for my brother's high school mechanics class and so it always had problems, though. My dad HATED having to come home from work only to have to work on getting my car running again. Eventually I ran it out of oil (I didn't realize the indicator light had been disconnected) and blew the engine. Still, that car loved me. My parents lived in the middle of nowhere, and that car could have quit anywhere in the no-man's land that stretched for miles around my parent's place. But it quit right before that, in front of the house of a friend of the family, so I had a phone to call my folks from and a safe place to wait for them.
6. When did you go to your first funeral? Age 7, my grandfather. He had been murdered by his second wife. It was the first time I had ever seen my dad cry.
7. How old were you when you first moved away from your home town? 23. See #2. I was a late bloomer.
8. Who was your first grade teacher? Ms Turner, She was awesome! I think. I don't really remember it. I don't have any complaints, though.
9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Oregon, to visit Rain and check out the place she wanted me to relocate to. She was stable on that visit, so I went home and started making plans.
10. When did you sneak out of your house for the first time, who was it with? I was 10 or 11. My friend Lisa and I snuck out of our houses to toilet paper the neighbors. We were the Terrible Two. Unfortunately her mother saw her sneaking toilet paper out and told us that she would tell whoevers house had been tp'd that we had done it and that we would then be forbidden to play with each other (she thought I was a bad influence). So, instead of staying in and doing nothing, we stuck one square of toilet paper on one tree in every yard on the whole street. We thought we were being so clever, but not only did her mom not notice, but no one else did either...
11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them? My first best friend was Lisa. Her mother was not happy with our friendship. She thought I was a Bad Influence. Especially because we were the only family on the street who were not Mormon. She was one of the mothers who reported my mom to DCFS as an unfit mother. She may have been right about me. Lisa was the first girl I fooled around with (at the age of 12). And she was my lieutenant in my underground porn ring. After we got caught her parents put their house up for sale and moved away. Their house was bought by someone who turned it into a rental and then rented it out to prostitutes and drug dealers. After that the neighborhood didn't think my family was so bad. I ran into Lisa when I was 16 at Mirror Lake, completely by accident. And we swore to write and maintain our friendship. But we didn't. I should look her up. Maybe she's a lesbian too!
12. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents house? In a small house on the banks of the Rogue River in Gold Hill, Oregon. See #2.
13. Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid/groomsmen? My friend Melissa. I hadn't heard from her in a few years when I got an invitation to a bridal shower. Then I got a wedding invitation. At the briday shower she said she wanted me to come to the wedding breakfast and that she wanted me to come to the ceremony a couple of hours early for pictures. I didn't want to watch pictures being taken, so I showed up an hour late to pictures but an hour early to the ceremony (thought I'd split the difference). Turns out everyone was upset because I was one of 2 bridesmaids. The other bridesmaid had turned up on time, but also hadn't known that she was a bridesmaid. Luckily our dresses didn't clash. Strangest situation I have ever been in. And kind of sad. I mean, we had been close in high school but I hadn't really seen her in a couple of years. Didn't she have any other friends to be bridesmaids? Had they all turned her down? I haven't seen her since.
14. What is the first thing you do in the morning? I head for the bathroom or I check on Julia or I let the dogs out. Whichever need is most pressing.
15. What is the first concert you ever went to? Dar Williams. She was promoting End of the Summer, her most depressing album ever. She was the last performance at this really neat concert hall called The Wooden Dog. Most of the furnishings and decorations had already been removed, so it was very bare bones. It was just her and her guitar, and when she walked to the stage, between the aisles, she walked so close to me the velvet of her dress brushed my arm. Dar brushed me with velvet! I think she did it on purpose! I was utterly in love with her. It was a magical night.
16. First tattoo or piercing? I got my ears pierced at the age of 8. Two women went to do it to me at the same time, but one was slower with the gun than the other and I flinched and so my piercings are crooked by quite a bit. When I was in college I finally went in and had a new hole pierced in the one ear so that my earrings would be symmetrical.
17. First Celebrity crush? Jem.
18. Age of first kiss? Age 10, I kissed Joshua N. in the planetarium during a star show. And then his sister and I (we were close friends) giggled about it in the bathroom. He was very perturbed.
19. First crush? Joshua N. I shoved him in the coat closed in the first grade and demanded to know if he loved me as much as I loved him. He was very perturbed (I perturbed him a lot. I'd like to use some different word to describe his consistent reaction to me, but there just is no better word for it) and told me that he didn't. I loved him anyway. My love is not conditional on such things as reciprocity. Reciprocity is for wussies.
20. First time you did drugs? I have never EVER done illegal drugs. Just say No! That's my motto.