Sometimes hitting things helps

Ok, remember the little not-starting thing that my car was doing? The one that was vaguely related to the battery? Cause it was acting like the battery was dead? That thing? Well, the car has been fine for the last couple of days. Then this morning in bitter cold weather, I took Julia (who's THRILLED that she's so phlegmy, since the extra fluid in her throat helps her to make even more interesting sounds) to A's and came back out, happy that I was going to be on time to catch my train, and the damned car wouldn't start. And no one but A to give me a jump, and I didn't want to ask her cause that would mean she would have to leave a passel o'kids alone while doing it. So, since my brother had mentioned that he thought it might be something to do with the battery connection, I popped the hood (needed to pop it anyway if I was going to attract the attention of a battery-weilding jumper) and stood over the engine armed with a screwdriver. What I was going to do with a screwdriver I have only the fuzziest idea, but it was the only tool I had in the car besides my jumper cables. I poked at the battery terminals desultorily for a few moments, and tried to start my car again, and nothing.

And then rage entered. The rage that I so rarely feel and never express. That rage.

And I went back and looked at my stupid-head battery that was keeping my stupid-head car from starting and making me late for my stupid-head job and forcing me to stand there in the stupid-head 12 degree weather and I hit it with the screw driver. And it felt so good that I hit it again and then one more time. And then I heard it. That annoying buzzing sound that my car makes when my keys are in the ignition and the door is open and the battery is working. So I jumped in the car to try to start it... and it didn't start. So I got back out and I hit the battery again several more times until I heard the buzzing again, and then I hit it one more time for good measure and jumped in the car and this time it started.

Who knew? My car is a masochist and just needed a good flogging.

And I gave it what it so desperately needed.

You know what this means I should be, don't you?

I should be a mechanic.

Posted by Trista @ 9:18 AM

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Do you ever listen to 'Car Talk' on NPR? I definitely think you should call in and tell them about that. They'll love it!

And as for the mechanic... it'll make you rich, I hear.

Posted by Blogger Lorem ipsum @ 10:03 AM #

Hah! That's fabulous!

Posted by Anonymous Molly @ 10:21 AM #

Thankfully you did not die by shorting out the battery and electruting yourself. Glad the hitting worked.

Have you tried pouring a coke over the battery? It helps with the corrosion.

I know there are spelling errors in here, but the google spell checker does not work in the pop up.

Posted by Blogger WendyLou @ 11:12 AM #

Didn't Jo from the Facts of Life grow up to be a mechanic?

I also think you could have a career as a pro flogger.

Not to be confused with a pro fluffer. ;)

Posted by Blogger Calliope @ 7:20 AM #

Cali, I think they both fall under 'sex worker' on IRS forms.

Posted by Blogger Lorem ipsum @ 12:03 PM #

That's funny. My friend had a starter that wouldn't start, and some guy with a mechanical background came up with a screwdriver and did exactly that, except he hit her starter with it. He said hitting it can ruin the starter, but it can also make it start--maybe the theory is if it's already broke, don't worry about breaking it more. In any case, it worked.

Posted by Blogger StateShift @ 2:51 PM #
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