Yesterday was hard. Kristin and Julia got bumped from their flight and so didn't make it home until after Midnight. I was very disappointed not to spend the day with my lovies, but not as disappointed as they were to be stuck in Houston all day (not that Houston is a bad place to be, but that when you're wanting to go home and you get all the way to the airport and actually get to go down to the plane only to be told that, no, they were wrong, there really weren't any seats, it's a bit disappointing to still be in Houston). Plus, yesterday was my CD 10 and we had decided to inseminate on CD 10 whether or not I had gotten my LH surge. You know, because I never get an LH surge and yet sometimes I spontaneously ovulate around day 11. So I had to inseminate all by myself.
So, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself yesterday, having to deal with semen all by my lonesome and thinking that even if the insemination would have worked (which I didn't believe it would anyway) did I really want it to work and have the story of how we concieved child #2 be one of loneliness and sadness and self-pity?
Well, apparently I do. I've been peeing on LH sticks twice a day since day 8 with nary a line to be found. I was not surprised; I never get a line. I have come to believe that my urine would be unable to make a line even if I peed in a line on one of those water zen drawing boards. Peeing on any sort of stick, be it ovulation or pregnancy, feels like an exercise in futility. And yet, despite the complete absence of a line yesterday morning, when I peed on the stick yesterday late afternoon there developed a strong surge line! Holy fuck people! I surged! And I caught the surge! And it showed up as a line on a stick! My urine CAN make sticks appear!
And that means that inseminating yesterday was great timing for fresh sperm. And if we can do it again tonight (actually, I guess whether or not we get to insem tonight)... it means that I have the second real chance of getting pregnant we've gotten in the entire 10 months we've been trying to knock me up. And in the instant that it took me to register the surge line I switched from feeling sorry for myself for being all alone during the insemination (and thinking that I didn't want to become pregnant like that anyway, not that I was really going to get pregnant) to desperately, fiercely, hoping that that insemination did the trick.
N just called. We're on for tonight, too. Whoop!