You'd think that today would be harder than yesterday what with their absence stretching out like a vast gulf through the day. Everywhere I look they are not where they should be.
And yet today has been easy. I slept better than I expected and woke not too late in the morning (9! My pre-baby self is laughing at that meager sleep-in!) I did two of the self-appointed tasks and moved a massive quantity of boxes out of the basement. I read some and I uploaded a major portion of our music collection into iTunes. It's been peaceful.
Plus, Kristin called and Julia could tell it was me on the phone and demanded that the phone be put to her ear, and when Kristin told her to "say Hi to Mama" she DID! I can't tell you how many times we've put the phone to her ear and told her to say hi to whoever was on the other end only to have her breath heavy, look confused, and say nothing. This time she said hi and then Kristin took the phone away and she demanded it back and when I told her that she should take a nap for Mommy she laughed at me. That's more interaction over the phone than she's ever exhibited before. And it was for me!
So that felt good. I think I am missed - though Kristin says that most of the time when Julia asks for me it's not in a woebegone way, but rather a I-don't-like-what-you're-doing-where's-mama kind of way. So I'm missed, but not like you miss your best friend or puppy but like you would miss your secretary or private chef or Chief Bottom Wiper and Mistress of the Wardrobe.
I've planned out all the meals for this week, and done the grocery shopping. Now I'm going to watch Pirates of the Caribbean and fold laundry as I eat my salad and sandwich for dinner. I was going to take advantage of Kristin's absence to make Creamed Tuna over Rice, but I decided that the recipe makes too much for just me, so a salad and sandwich it is.
Wow. Depite my wildness last night (two beers, a cigarette, and home by Midnight) I am pretty damn domesticated. At this moment I don't feel sad about it, though, it just feels right. Ask me again around my 32nd birthday, though, I might feel differently by then.