2.06.2006
Well, of course this would happen. Of course it would.
From the Deseret News
A conservative Salt Lake County lawmaker has proposed a bill that would forbid courts from awarding parental authority of a child against the wishes of the child's biological parent.
Rep. LaVar Christensen, R-Draper, pledged to run the legislation last summer following a Utah Supreme Court hearing in the case of a Utah woman fighting for visitation with her former lesbian partner's 4-year-old biological daughter.
Christensen said this week that HB148 is not solely intended to address that case or any others involving homosexual couples. It is simply, he said, an attempt to clear up a deficiency in the law.
But Keri Jones, whose battle with her former partner, Cheryl Pike Barlow, brought the issue to the forefront, thinks otherwise.
"I think it's totally an attack on (homosexuality)," Jones said. "I very much think it's about our family."
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HB148 would forbid courts from invoking "in loco parentis" — a Latin phrase meaning "in the place of a parent" — to award parent-time, visitation, custody, legal guardianship, child support or adoption to a non-biological adult against the wishes of a biological or adoptive parent.
"In the Barlow case, judges with good intentions . . . ignored existing case law," Christensen said. "(HB148) is a clear codification of a well-established legal doctrine that has been misused in this case and others."
In loco parentis is meant to be a "temporary, voluntary delegation of parental authority," the Sandy lawmaker said. It should not, he said, be used "to force a biological mother to accept an agreement" with which she disagrees.
But Salt Lake City family law attorney Lauren Barros said there are many times when a neutral third party needs to weigh in on these emotional decisions. Often in situations involving separation or divorce, adults may harbor animosity or bitterness toward their former partner and act out of those feelings, rather than do what's best for their child, she said.
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The common-law legal doctrine is used in cases of step-parents and grandparents, as well as live-in boyfriends and girlfriends who wish to continue a relationship with their former partners' children after the relationship ends.
"There's just too many people in Utah that are in this situation," she said. "I would hope that (lawmakers) would recognize that it would dramatically change a law and would affect a lot more people, not just gay and lesbian couples."
That's right. We can't point out the egregiousness of this law in reference only to GLBTQ people. If we want the law defeated we need to show how it will hurt "innocent" people. And here in Utah, GLBTQ people are never innocent.
Just because I knew this was coming doesn't make me feel less like vomiting right now.
2.5 years feels like 3 years too long to move to a place where people don't shit all over you and your family just because they can.
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For f*cks sake.
I should be used to this sort of thing happening. But I'm not.
It really does make me grateful to live in California. I can go on my next child's birth certificate, even though my partner will be the bio-mom. And we have streamlined 2nd parent adoptions. And as registered domestic partners in this state we have automatic durable power of attorney, healthcare and property rights. If it wasn't so friggin expensive I would tell you to 'come on down'.
It does make a difference to at least have your immediate geographic location not be completely full of smarmy homophobes.
This is shit. Total and utter shit. There are no boundaries on what they'll do to try to hurt us. And ultimately it hurts kids, but that doesn't matter to THOSE people who have such a fear/hatred/whatever of queers. They would sacrifice their own children (and do if they turn out to be HOMOsexuals) for their self righteous holier than though beliefs.
I think the part that makes me saddest is that all of these cases have involved at least one vindictive lesbian destroying not only her own family, but putting all of our families at risk in her fury at her her ex.
Our lawyer calls this "lesbians behaving badly." When we had our initial consultation with her, she talked about the cases like this around the country and asked us to give her our word that we wouldn't do that.
Sometimes, I hate living here too. Those idiots are up there doing this bull shit in my name, and I 100% disagree with this. WTF are they thinking? Oh, I remember now, they are not thinking.
Why does it always come to the "innocent" factor? In my mind, hetrosexuals who comit, procreate, and chose to not marry are a whole lot less innocent than gays and lesbians who cannot marry. The hetrosexuals have the option, but chose not to exercise their rights. GLBT don't have this option.
Lavar Christensen and Gayle Ruzika are on a mission to save us from ourselves, and are destroying us in the process.
This is so unfortunate. HOpefully enough people will see the arenas in which it could affect them, as well.
Ugh. I am really, really sorry.
I used to live in an apartment with a horrible neighbor who blared music at a truly ungodly volume, whose mother would frequently stand screaming in the hallway outside our door, and whom I once saw bodily hurl his dog at a wall. I used to cry because I hated living next to him so much.
Then we moved. And it was the most magnificent, life-changing thing ever. I came home every day and was happy to be in my own space. And I vowed never again to be that unhappy with my living arrangements.
And this is just two apartments in HIGHLY liberal Park Slope, Brooklyn, NYC.
I can't even imagine what you are going through. And I know that a move would uproot everything about your lives. But you should know, if this personal/political crap gets you too far down, that you really can leave. It really is better elsewhere. Not perfect, but better.